Mental Murmurs

admin June 27th, 2008

So it’s officially the holidays now for this poor old uni student… Let’s have a little recap of my whole semester.

Where to start? I guess at the uttermost beginning?

Well, it has been quite a tough semester for me (tension headaches, lack of appetite, lack of sleep, exhaustion), and I know I’m not the only one because my friends have been pretty stressed out themselves (2 threw up… stress-induced).

Ok, scratch tough, it was HELL! And that doesn’t even begin to describe it! No exaggeration. Usually I love studying, it has been hard but nowhere, nowhere, nowhere near this!!

Let’s see… let’s start with changes that occurred to the uni itself this semester:

• 14 week semester has been reduced to 12 weeks
  Implication: same amount of work in less amount of time, which is crazy mad for us… we have at least something major due or a quiz/exam/test each week! The average for me was 3 assessments a week…
  I had to miss out on a Porcupine Tree concert to study for the mid-semester exams (I had 3 that following week)… and anyone that know me well will know how important this was for me, how little I go out regardless, and how badly I broke down because I couldn’t make it! Their first tour in Australia, and they’ve been around for 20 years! But I’ve been convinced they’ll be back, someday soon.
• Cutback on our STUVAC (study vacation)
  Was initially about a week, now checking my student diary consisted of a Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday - barely enough time to go through 4 full third year subjects!
• Winter sessions taken away
  Implications: overloading (below).
• BSc (Adv) and BMedSci WAM (weighted average mark) increased from 65 to 70
  A few of my friends from Bsc (Adv) and BMedSci who has a WAM below 70 received warning emails, informing them if they don’t increase their average, they will get dropped down to BSc… Ever since knowing the possibility of dropping down to BSc, I had been feeling the pressure more than ever!
  A BMedSci friend later told me that they have been told that changes have only been applied to newcomers, which relieved me for a bit before she told me that it mightn’t be the same for BSc (Adv)!! (Thanks so much.. ><)
• Examination changes
  Here’s an excerpt of the email we received. But to sum up, we are having:
  • Shorter exam period
  • 3 exams per day schedule
  • Exams on Saturday
• Mid-semester break between week 2 and 3
  After 3 months of break, having a uni break after the 2nd week of uni is rather… y’know. So after that is a period continuous studying for 10 weeks.
  BUT, this didn’t concern me as I had to attend lab 9 to 5 daily for bacteria and disease laboratory work (which I really enjoyed, don’t get me wrong! In fact, I thought it was the best part of the course!)

So that was already giving me a hard time. Ranting on, these were the things I found personally stressful for me:

• Overloading
  As if four full subjects wasn’t enough on my plate, I (stupidly) decided to overload, another half subject (3UOC general education) instead of trying to do it in the summer session in case it spots get filled up since winter session has been taken away
• My final exam timetable (5 exams in 7 days)
  • 13/06 MICR3041 (Immunology)
  • 16/06 BIOC3111 (Molecular biology of proteins)
  • 18/06 BIOC3261 (Molecular biology of nucleic acids: theory)
  • 18/06 MICR3081 (Bacteria and Disease)
  • 19/06 BIOC3261 (Molecular biology of nucleic acids: practical)
• Changes towards the end of the final exams
  Full story here - but basically, I was a victim of 2 exam rescheduling:
  • 18/06 MICR3081 moved to 19/06
  • 19/06 BIOC3261 moved to 21/06

So there you have it, a summary of what I had gone through in the past 13-14 weeks. Don’t be discouraged from third year science after reading this because rest assured, people do survive from things like this… (just barely in my case)…

Hope all students enjoy their hard earned, much needed holidays!

• Bad , Exams , Friends , Holidays , Me , Melodrama , Panic attack , Random thoughts , Uni
• Comments(2)

admin April 30th, 2008

I’m ticked off… angry… flaming…
Listening to angry music because it helps…
Cos far out…
THIS. IS. NOT. COOL.!!!

I have a bacteria and disease mid-session exam on Thursday so I planned for the day to be spent on studying for earlier… As people who do this third year subject know, it IS a heavy course… So initially, I got frustrated because:

• I’m not understanding notes…
• there weren’t iLectures on for half the lectures… They recorded it in the wrong lecture theatre!!! I emailed but nothing was done about it…
• textbook had information on all the other organisms EXCEPT the one I was looking for…

So I decided to go online, find the journal article and print it out to make notes (because firstly, I can’t read on screen for too long and secondly, I’d be stuck on the computer if I’m on it) and got angry because:

• my printer was being a massive psychopath and was being the biggest asshole…

So I left that alone, read some of the article on the computer screen… and checked if there were any announcements on webct (uni portal) and got annoyed and really angry because:

• we (apparently) have something due on Friday AND
• the coordinator put the guidelines up YESTERDAY!

ARGH!!!

Better get back to studying because there’s a LOT to cover!!

• Bad , Exams , Me , Melodrama , Uni
• Comments(0)

admin April 18th, 2008

To all of you who are wondering, no, I haven’t died yet. But almost.

Stress… Long hours of painful studying, assignmenting, researching, revising… Lack of sleep… Look what uni’s doing to me!! I’m sick again…

That’s right, second time in one month (last time was about 3 weeks ago)!

NOOOoooOO!!

Funnily/coincidentally enough, a friend of mine whom I haven’t seen for a while caught something a week before me last time and got it again last week! He suspects a second bug, but I’m not too sure. But whatever it is, please go awaaaaay!!

Anyway… To cheer myself up, I decided and insisted on a haircut today (I was browsing for a lot of alternative/indie/emo/punk/gothic hairstyle last night). Not feeling up for more violation, Andrew drove me to Strathfield and looked for a hairdressing place called “Zio” (opposite plaza), recommended from my friend Daph.

I walked into the place, and a man came and sat me down. Krystal, the Korean hairstylist that was going to cut my hair, came and asked me which style I wanted. So I explained it to her:

• Straight and short fringe
• Longer front bits
• Short and very layered back (similar to the last haircut)

She motioned me to the seat and started washing my hair and unlike the last lady, she didn’t rip my hair out!! So I decided to enjoy it, and she was really good/gentle!

After that, she asked if I trusted her and hearing my reply, got started on the cutting. We made small talk, and learned that she started out in Korea and has been a hairdresser for 10 years.

Some while later, she finished. And I looked at the new me.

Hilarious!!
Different!!
Non-alternative (as I had planned the night before)

But I really liked it, and Krystal looked please with herself. So I went to pay for her services: $35 - waaaaay cheaper than the one at Market City (yes, the violation one)! The man who originally served me appropriately added, “Next time, the messy hair look will be charged $45, because this is the first time, it’s $35″ and promptly handed me a loyalty card. Cool, didn’t know any hairdressing place have this system.

Feeling pleased, different and refreshed, I headed home. When dad saw me, he (sorta) flipped! And when mum saw me, the first thing she said was “Ohhh! My Korean daughter” …How did she know? O_o It seriously didn’t look like it to me… But I don’t know.

• Bad , Hair , Me , Melodrama , Sad , Uni
• Comments(0)

admin March 24th, 2008

A long long time without any update, and I’m sorry it had to be a bad one.

So where should I start?

It’s about 8am on the Easter public holiday Monday, and I’ve just woken from the most horrid sleep, if I had any at all. The thing is, I think I caught something recently because I was more susceptible (stress from uni and everything),  showing symptoms of a cold/flu yesterday morning. Resting is the key, so I slept most the day away yesterday, even when I had stacks of uni stuff to do (stress tress stress panic!!!)…

Last night at about 3am when I knew I was still awake, I had a throat that bugged me endlessly and one more throat lozenge left… Thinking I’d be able to catch some sleep, I had the final lozenge and dozed off… for 10 minutes. So… more sore throat and fragmented sleep with tossing and turning and weird disjointed dreams… and I ended up like this today (zombie!!).

So not cool!

This semester started a fortnight ago, lasts for 12 weeks excluding holiday breaks (used to be 14 weeks, but they putting 14 weeks of content into the 12 = content overload!) and we were meant to be having our Easter break and mid-session break (yeah, after 2 weeks into it)… Except for one of my subjects, I have to come into lab while everyone was on “mid-session break”, Tuesday to Friday, 9am to 6pm..

So all up, I had 4 days off (Friday to Monday)… Got nothing done as planned (assignments/etc), and feeling worse than ever (because the symptoms have gotten worse), completely unprepared (not up) for the hectic 8 hour lab work starting tomorrow.

So yeah, great timing really.

Ah. *sigh*

I hope you all a merrier Easter than mine.
Surely it must be…?

• Bad , Holiday wishes , Holidays , Me , Melodrama
• Comments(0)

admin February 20th, 2008

On a whim, I decided to drag my dad to the dentist with me today, since it’s been a while since I had my last dental checkup and I needed some in-fills (for the post-braces support thing, not my teeth, though I find out later that I did have some I needed to fill ><)… and I was in Campsie anyway.

So I went upstairs and waited until he was finished with his patient and then inquired about it.

In-fills: $70
Cleaning: $80

Okay, so $150, that’s not too bad actually.

But turned out I had to in-fill THREE of the supporting-braces things. That’s $210! Aww man… No cleaning, I thought, too much money already.

So he started removing the previous loose in-fills, splashed much water on me (thank you very much) and secured the new in-fills onto teeth. Put the chair up and told me to rinse.

And so, the chair went down again (an aura of “be afraid… be very afraid” that dentists give off) and proceeded hardening the in-fills with “the blue light” (they have the weirdest tools, I swear!).

Hurting after that, he asked whether or not I wanted to clean, to which I waved my hand at. I was already in pain! But dad told me to anyway because when uni starts, I wouldn’t have the time to go to the dentist. The dentist then told me it was advisable since my teeth were pretty dirty (thanks again).

So again, I decided “why not”.

It felt okay when he started with the bottom. And then I felt REAL pain. The pain before was merely just a warm-up, because THIS was REALLY bad!!! >_<

Throughout the ordeal, I had water splashing all over my face, I was flinching, curling my toes and gripping my dad’s hand (very tightly), and these were only part of the 20 minute process. My gums bleeding, bleeding and bleeding were the other part. It was THAT bad, no exaggeration.

Ah! And someone thought they went through “23 minutes in Hell” (cough cough Bill Wiesse)! Reminds me why I haven’t been to the dentist in 3 years.

And what made it worse was that the dentist kept complaining about:

1. Me not brushing my teeth properly (I swear it isn’t that bad!)
2. Me not coming in regularly for a cleaning
3. Me not cutting my hair (I like it the way it is, thank you very much!)
4. My eyesight (since I “wear such thick glasses” but “don’t worry, there’s always laser eye surgery when you reach -10.00″)
5. The whole hour worth of fixing up my teeth totaled $290! (Ouch!)

Sigh.

What’s with paying for services who treat you like a masochist being?!

Oh well, at least my teeth are shiny now =]

• Dentist , Me , Melodrama , Money issues
• Comments(0)

admin January 31st, 2008

Turned out to be disastrous!

Firstly, me, my brother were on one end of this huge wardrobe and my dad on the other end. Because there wasn’t anything to hold onto, there wasn’t any grip for the both of us, so this light but big task became quite hard, to say the least.

During the move downstairs, dad kept complaining that Brandon and I were pretty bad removalists. I mean, duh, we’ve never really moved anything before, it’s only natural. But shut up, y’know? It wouldn’t make things any easier.

So we almost reached the bottom of the stairs but as our stairway is an enclosed area, it made it all the much harder, even when it is wider than the average. His instructions were starting to confuse the shit out of not only Brandon, but me also. He kept telling us to move up a few steps, direct the wardrobe to the right side, then go downstairs. “The wardrobe is on the right side, maxed, can’t go any further!” So he sighed, told my mum to hold the other end while he went upstairs to try for himself. Still didn’t work.

Being a stubborn one, he tried again, telling us to go halfway up the stairs, flipping it around to make the wardrobe fit. We went downstairs. Ohhh, just a bit more.

And again.
And again.
And again…

Tired, sweaty (it was one HOT day!!! Come on, our shirts were practically see-through), and hurting (no grip-ness, scrapings and other accidents), we had to move the whole wardrobe upstairs again, settle it. What happens next? Dad hammered it open. Smashed it to pieces.

Goodbye ancient thing.
Finally (We all told him to throw it out before, but he wouldn’t listen. Look at it now!)

All that effort for nothing.

Oh, actually, we did get something from dad… A remark: “You guys are seriously useless in moving stuff. When we’re moving, you both move as many boxes as possible because you definitely not experienced in moving furniture.”

So there you have it, our first attempt in moving one piece of furniture out of the house.

[Nod]

It’s gonna be awesome on Saturday.
Just awesome.

• Family , Melodrama , Moving home
• Comments(0)

admin January 30th, 2008

Today didn’t start off too well, actually.

I woke up slightly late, and turns out mum did as well, so hence, we both missed the early walk. Mum, having the need to walk, told me to walk with her to the chemist, so after breakfast, I got dressed nicely and headed out.

A boiling hot day again, just like yesterday, it was a hard trek for me. Perhaps going in the chemist with the air con and all will make me feel better, I thought. Couldn’t wait to get in there, I sat down while mum waited for her prescription medicine.

Then I felt dizzy. Ignoring it made me feel worse. Blood pressure acting up. Shit. I told mum, and she freaked, which made me freak, hyperventilate, heart pump faster and dizzier than ever. She called Brandon to tell dad I was fainting and to pick me up from the chemist. Due to the long wait for the people to get my mum her meds, she told me to go outside to wait for dad first, and if she took too long, she’d walk by herself.

I saw dad and followed him into the car, and we were both waiting outside for mum to finish her purchase. But after 10 minutes, still no mum. I figured she must’ve walked by herself, so I told dad what she said about going home first. Ticked off, he started telling me off for not being clear on anything, making him wait and all for no reason. And then he was telling me off for being on the computer too much that it affected my health. Too bothered (and unwell) to argue with him or anything, I stayed silent the short trip home.

Got home, went upstairs, turned the fan on, and called Andrew for comfort. I told him I thought the change in conditions (from hot hot outside to air con) was what made me feel that initial dizziness, then mum’s panicked look. So I stayed there talking to him, chilling out for a while. I wonder what I’d be doing right now if that fainting scene never happened some 2 months ago… I wonder if it was something that was to happen sooner or later, or just a one off that was to scar me for a long time… just as it had.

Feeling better, I went downstairs for lunch. After lunch, I went up again to do some stuff for mum, and then mum came in saying I had a parcel. Wow. I didn’t order anything! Excited, I opened the very protective cover. “Rock ya covers off” - I won!

So I spent the whole day chilling (more like boiling up) out to the CDs, checking out items on ebay, chatting to Lisa and talking to Andrew (only for bits, he went to the gym and then shopped for food) before dinner.

After dinner was our ritual walk. And during that walk, we saw a couple (husband + pregnant wife) with their kid (2 years old?) a few times as we completed our rounds. I didn’t pay much attention to them until the last round, where I saw the husband look at me directly. Then mum told me he’s been doing that every time we walked past. Makes me wonder why men do that sometimes. ><

• Bad , Family , Me , Melodrama , eBay
• Comments(0)

admin January 23rd, 2008

Inconsistency.

If this one didn’t convince you, listen to this:

I had 2 items to post the other day, so I took both my envelopes and went to the post.

Details about the items:

Just by looking at these measurements, do you think that’s consistent at all?

• Same measurements
• Same weight
• Packed the same way in same-sized envelope
• Same person serving me

And yet they are charged SO differently! Why is one a large letter and the other is a parcel?

They contain the exact same product inside!

So needing to send it out as soon as possible with no other posts around, I decided to let them charge me as they like… just this one time.

Oh well, at least buyer 1 received item #1 today.
That’s right, the one charged with a cheaper postage rate!

Someone explain this to me… because I don’t get it.

• Melodrama , Money issues , eBay
• Comments(0)

admin January 13th, 2008

So I’m halfway through my general education course with none of the four assessments tasks complete. So when my uncle called to ask if I wanted a shift for today on Saturday, I told him no.

And I decided Saturday would be my resting day since I was quite worn out due to uni, even when the hours are short because I’ve been in lazy mode prior to this summer course. And plus my brother was staying overnight at aunt Tania’s house and that mean:

1. More food
2. No noise

All that is good, had my beauty rest, and Sunday came too soon. Eager (not quite, but kind of have to) to do some of my assignment, I woke up early (ok, 10am isn’t that early but a girl can exaggerate sometimes…), finished eating, popped upstairs, and heard an announcement from mum that aunt My, her husband (uncle Tony) and Katty. And this meant one thing: Mum to pair off with aunt; dad chatting to uncle Tony, and Katty with me (a.k.a. kid-sitting).

I finished my shower, wrapped in a towel (because I didn’t know what to wear), attempted to run to my room before anyone saw me, and found Katty sitting there waiting for my arrival. Oh. Crap! I ran back into the bathroom and told her I’d come out soon, and sneaked to the cupboards when she went downstairs for a brief second, and got dressed.

Phew.

So then she started bouncing, telling me a thousand different things such as her loose teeth falling out and everything.

And like the other post’s distress, I had to keep her occupied for a long time. So we started drawing in my room, having fun and all (but not that much because of the stinking hot weather), eating lollies and just chatting. Then I got scared because I was feeding her lollies and I’m afraid she’d eat too much of that without the mother’s consent (regarding: new teeth).

At about 2pm, we all went to Botoli to eat, Katty riding in the same car as us. We arrived there earlier than Katty’s parents did, and the guy (who loves to talk/joke with dad) came over to our table (as always) and remarked, “So I see you’ve been hiding away your grandchild”. Shocked, I protested… oh my God, don’t even joke about these kind of things! -_-

So the parents came, and we ordered and had our food. Towards the end, uncle Tony insisted to shout this lunch so he paid first. Mum, dad and I had just finished our food when aunt Tania called to tell us to come home as they had dropped Brandon home. Being a really hot day, we decided not to let him wait so long outside so us three went home first (Katty hasn’t finished her food just yet) and aunt My and them to meet us back at home.

Welcome back, biatch! (My brother and I have a weird relationship, right, Habib?)

Anyway, at around 3:30, the three came back to our place, and the original pairings happened. Meaning, no homework, more mucking about.

Ok, now I definitely wouldn’t've minded if I didn’t have assessments on my desk waiting for me to do. But she even gave me homework!

Katty: Can you draw this and this and this and this for me? I’ll get it when I come over next.
Me: But I can’t draw.
Katty: Yes you can. I don’t care if it’s not the best.
Me: But I’m busy.
Katty: Why?
Me: I have to go to school tomorrow.
Katty: Can you draw it after school?
Me: But I’ve got homework.
Katty: After homework?
Me: Hm, only when I finish my homework then.
Katty: *grins* Yay! *starts bookmarking all the pictures she wants me to draw*

Damn.

Why are kids sometimes so persistent!
Or yet, why can’t I ever say no?

Sigh.
Oh well.

So anyway, after a long time (around about 7pm I guess?), they started to leave, and yet again, Katty has left me exhausted.

Okay, now I was really eager to get some work done. Putting all thoughts aside, I started doing the rest of summary 3, and actually finished it.

Horray.

Now time for some sleep.

• Family , Me , Melodrama , Random thoughts
• Comments(0)

admin January 6th, 2008

Depression for breakfast

Upon deep ponder, I came with the conclusion that making spaghetti was the initiation and source of my early depression. I’ll explain this in a minute.

But what I wanted to say first is this: bolognese has cheese in it?! What? I thought we add cheese ourselves if we wanted. But no, the label specifically said “cheese (contains milk)“.

Okay, with this out of the way, I can go on to my story and hence how I came up with this title for a post.

So. I came downstairs at 10:30ish for breakfast but seeing it’s a weekend (translation: mum’s cooking day) and a non-working day for me, we hardly get home-cooked meals, only bought. So not only did I not get a home-cooked meal, I got nothing except a loaf of bread. Since I am lactose intolerant, I can’t put anything on the bread so I ate it plain.

“Make spaghetti since you didn’t get to yesterday.” So she was expecting me to cook breakfast. No problemo.

Starting cooking the spaghetti and some mince for the bolognese, blah blah. While waiting, I read the jar. CHEESE. Great!

With no appetite left, I prepared a plate for mum and a (giant) plate for brother. Mum asked if I wanted anything else and I said no and went upstairs.

After a little while, I started feeling really PMSy (even though it’s not the time yet). Mum came upstairs with a big plate of vermicelli she whipped up just for me after my discovery. And guess what I said?

“I told you, I DON’T want any! Do you ever listen to what I say?!”

Immediate regret. Shit!

Cut, she took the plate away with an “ok.”

“Mum, I’m sorry.” Yes, I was frustrated, but she went through all that effort for me just to get this? “I’ll eat it later.”

I heard a small muffle and she disappeared downstairs.

Shit!

Then I started to cry, feeling really bad and stupid and an ungrateful little bitch. I know in my heart, I didn’t mean it, but the guilt! Reminds me of a similar incident.

So anyway, I went downstairs almost immediately after, apologised again and ate the plateful and failing to stifle cries. Dad came back from grocery shopping then and my mum asked if he wanted some of spaghetti to which he said no to. I hurried up and finished my food so I could go upstairs before having a breakdown there and then.

Then I had this emo thought: I had cut the only person in the world who cared for me!

Had some reflection time in the shower, and asked mum to walk with me. She wanted to get something at the chemist so I quickly agreed. Being the forgive and forget type, everything went uphills from there. So glad~!

Pot for lunch

Aunt 2, her husband (Uncle T) and 10 year old cousin (Pat) came over during lunchtime. It’s been a while. Getting compliments here and there about my appearance (something like “you look good” and “you’re really fit”) and my spaghetti (which I heated up for them for lunch, without a microwave) got kind of me high =]

The whole day was spent chilling out, watching the cricket (5th day, 2nd test. Australia vs India), chatting and playing with Pat (who was playing with my brother). You know how I said I wasn’t good with kids? Well, I’m not particularly good with this one, but he’s cool and really funny. Had a really relaxing arvie with lots of catching up, cricket, games… food.

Sore throat in the evening

Approaching the final overs of cricket, we pretty much thought the match would end as a draw as we weren’t getting Indian players out fast enough and they were defending to stay on. Though I was positive anything could happen as a near-impossible match in the past proved so: bowler Brett Lee hitting a 6 on the last ball and the team winning by 1 run.

And like that match, this match was simply unforgettable; Michael Clarke getting 3 wickets on 5 balls!

We won! WE WONNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Me/Uncle/Aunt/Pat/Mum/Bro: *scream for our lives* … *rooftop cracks open for a split second* … *claps and screams*

A most exciting, unbelievable time in test cricket. Amazing. A must see. Brief summary here.

• Bad , Cricket , Family , Good , High times , Melodrama , Sad
• Comments(0)